I don't even know how to start writing this but I am so confused with my marriage & how my husband has been acting lately. It breaks my heart to know that I'm not entirely happen at this very moment in my marriage & with Angel. This past Saturday was our 1yr wedding anniversary but since he was at base this past weekend we went out to dinner on Sunday. All we did was talk about how I'm always fighting with him, that he never does anything for me to get mad, etc & etc. All it was him telling me how I have changed & if I don't change to how I was before we aren't going to last & how he doesn't want a failed marriage.
When he was telling me all of this all I wanted to do was just roll in to a ball & cry. I mean I know I have changed but so has he, people change in 5 yrs. I wish he was still this very affection guy like he was in the beginning & help me around the house. But like he says I'm the woman & he is not used to doing anything in the house because his mother used to do everything, so he expects me to do it too. I know that I have the wife role at home but for him to help me shouldn't be such a big deal for us to get into an argument. I just feel like he is blaming me for all our problems & arguments, & I hate that because a marriage isn't just with one person it takes 2 people to have a marriage.
I also hate the fact that now he changed the password to his phone. Not that I want to check his phone or go through it but if he has nothing to hide why put a lock on it, I mean he gets mad everytime I ask him to use his phone for something. He used to be so sweet with me, called me beautiful everyday but now nothing, he calls her beautiful & texts to see how she is doing when he used to do that with me. When he used to get home from work he would give me the biggest hugs or when I used to get home he would drop everything he was doing to greet me. I'm lucky if I even get a kiss and a hi now.
I know that I shouldn't be going through his Facebook but I have already found a few messages btwn him & this other chic that he used to talk to all the time with from Pennsylvania. He says he meet her on line & has never meet her face to face but I don't know what to think anymore. I mean he talks to her all the time, her baby's father doesn't even know about my husband. So they keep it a secret from us that they talk because he erases all their messages & texts when I sit next to him he covers his phone so I won't see what he is doing or talking to. He was never like that before but like I say things are different.
I never thought that our relationship would come to this but I just want to cry & can't because I'm at work but it hurts to know or think that he is cheating or has thought of cheating. I don't want to think that he is unhappy with me & regrets marrying me at all, but I don't want to think that he wants to leave me......
I'm sorry this got so long but I had to get it off my chest.