As I sit here listening to the music on my playlist that reminds me of my husband I get more & more scared thinking of him leaving to Afghan in just a few months. As I type this tears run down my face just thinking of all the what if's in my head.
He is actually at drill this weekend, so I have just had a really bummy day. It's almost 1530 (3:30PM) & I haven't done anything or ate anything but chips & dip that I made. I just don't want to do anything but have him here with me forever. I know that I'm a strong woman & can handle it but there are those weak moments that take over you, your body, your head, your soul, & everything hurts. I don't want him to go half way across the world but I know he has to it's his job but I'm scared to death. I'm afraid to get pregnant & have to do everything without him. Even though I know there are a lot of wonderful military wives/fiances/gfs how have done it or are doing it at this moment but it still scares me.
I hate that he won't be here to celebrate our 1st year Wedding Anniversary. I know what I signed up for when I said I do on the altar in front of God, our family, & friends. This military lifestyle is hard but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
I LOVE YOU MR. CAMACHO
ALWAYS & FOREVER!!!