Stalking

Have you ever thought who and where your blog is being viewed? Well I have and I'm glad that blogspot actually keeps track of all the views for the day, week, month, etc., & where they are reading your blog. Never in a million years did I think that my blog would be seen in Russia, India, Greece, etc. I always thought that this blog was more for me. I wanted to have this blog like a diary in a sense for me. But, I guess I was wrong....lol.



Surprise Homecoming from My Husband!

So as most of you know my husband has been out in the field & I was supposed to go pick him up this past Sunday morning. Well, on Friday night I was talking to him & he told me that they extended his stay for a night. He had just gotten to the base that night from training at Ft. Drum in NY. I was telling him how much it sucked but that I couldn't wait to go pick him up on Sunday morning. I didn't know why but you know that Marine Corps always have a change of plans so I didn't think anything of it.  

My mom stood over my house Friday night because her whole block lost power do to the heat wave, so after I finished talking to my hubby we went to sleep around 12 or so. Around 8 in the morning I hear a knock at my door & I hear Hope barking (she only does that when there are people at the door) like crazy. So the Hubby surprised me by waking up to him knocking at the door that morning. Best wake up call ever. Like I said before I was going to pick him up at the base (Picatinny Aresenal) on Sunday but my Bro-In-Law was in on it and brought him to me at 8AM. I was supposed to go to the pool but I completely changed my mind about that.....lol

I love you baby having you at the door Saturday morning was the best surprise EVER!!!

Not So Happy....

I don't even know how to start writing this but I am so confused with my marriage & how my husband has been acting lately. It breaks my heart to know that I'm not entirely happen at this  very moment in my marriage & with Angel. This past Saturday was our 1yr wedding anniversary but since he was at base this past weekend we went out to dinner on Sunday. All we did was talk about how I'm always fighting with him, that he never does anything for me to get mad, etc & etc. All it was him telling me how I have changed & if I don't change to how I was before we aren't going to last & how he doesn't want a failed marriage.

When he was telling me all of this all I wanted to do was just roll in to a ball & cry. I mean I know I have changed but so has he, people change in 5 yrs. I wish he was still this very affection guy like he was in the beginning & help me around the house. But like he says I'm the woman & he is not used to doing anything in the house because his mother used to do everything, so he expects me to do it too. I know that I have the wife role at home but for him to help me shouldn't be such a big deal  for us to get into an argument. I just feel like he is blaming me for all our problems & arguments, & I hate that because a marriage isn't just with one person it takes 2 people to have a marriage.

I also hate the fact that now he changed the password to his phone. Not that I want to check his phone or go through it but if he has nothing to hide why put a lock on it, I mean he gets mad everytime I ask him to use his phone for something. He used to be so sweet with me, called me beautiful everyday but now nothing, he calls her beautiful & texts to see how she is doing when he used to do that with me. When he used to get home from work he would give me the biggest hugs or when I used to get home he would drop everything he was doing to greet me. I'm lucky if I even get a kiss and a hi now.

I know that I shouldn't be going through his Facebook but I have already found a few messages btwn him & this other chic that he used to talk to all the time with from Pennsylvania. He says he meet her on line & has never meet her face to face but I don't know what to think anymore. I mean he talks to her all the time, her baby's father doesn't even know about my husband. So they keep it a secret from us that they talk because he erases all their messages & texts when I sit next to him he covers his phone so I won't see what he is doing or talking to. He was never like that before but like I say things are different.

I never thought that our relationship would come to this but I just want to cry & can't because I'm at work but it hurts to know or think that he is cheating or has thought of cheating. I don't want to think that he is unhappy with me & regrets marrying me at all, but I don't want to think that he wants to leave me......

I'm sorry this got so long but I had to get it off my chest.  

Horrible News

So at exactly 1PM today I got one of the worst news ever, my aunt Mary from Maryland called me to tell me that my cousin Johanna Paniagua passed away this morning.

I have been in shock, disbelief,  etc. since I found out.

I never told you guys the story of what happened to her but I guess this is a good a time as any.....

Back in February 11' my identical twin cousins Johanna & Cindy were involved in a horrible accident. Cindy was driving & Johanna was the passenger....according to the Cindy there day started off like any other day, they went to school, then to work, & then Cindy wanted to go to the gym but Jo was too tired to go but since she didn't want her sister to go alone she went.

Cindy asmits that she was speeding, while Jo was sleeping & in an instant she got extremely tired & fell asleep behind the wheel. Resulting in her hitting a tree. Cindy left the scene unharmed but Jo was that lucky. She had 3 broken ribs, a collapsed lung, 2 broken vertabre in her spinal, & the list goes on and on. She had to use a halo box & this Saturday it was finally taken off, but she started to have pain & she couldn't feel part of her body for some reason.

My family is thinking that this is some type of mal-practice but we won't know until we get the autopsy results. Then I will have to fly out to California for the funeral. 

I just ask that you keep my family in your prayers because it is going to be a hard few days, weeks, months, for us. 

Left to Right; Johnny (Lil Bro), Johanna, Cindy, & their friend Simon

Johnny & Johanna

Cindy & Johanna (red hat) on happier days

RIP Johanna Paniagua Oct 9th, 1985 to May 25th, 2011
 We love you & you will always be with us in our hearts!!!

To sale or not to sale that is the ?...

Ok as some of you know I got married 8 months ago (6/11/10) & I still have my wedding gown at my mother's house. I loved it from the moment I saw online to the moment I tried it on & knew that was the dress. It made my wedding day so much more special because I felt beautiful in my gown.

So I got on craigslist today & I was searching some stuff for sale & decided to see if they had any wedding gowns for sale. They did & then the idea dawned on me....."I should sell my wedding gown" I mean I'm never going to wear it again. I love it but should I have it stuffed away in a box under my bed collecting dust when another young fortunate woman can feel the way I felt in it the day of my wedding day.

I asked my husband what he thought but I really think he doesn't want me to sell but like I tell him, "I'm never gonna wear it again & if we renew our vows I would buy another dress".

My dress was originally for $899 & I bought it for $599 at David's Bridal. Along with all the accesories which brought the total up to $1000 so I was thinking that I can sell everything for $600-$700. What do you guys think? Is it a fair price, should I even sell my dress or hold on to it for at least another year & see how I feel about it then?

It has a lot of bedding detail on the front & back of the dress..look at the pics...like I said it is beautiful. Please help me I'm torn in what I should do.

I'm also planning to see the gown that I bought for the Marine Corps ball this year. I mean I can't wear it again next year so I will sell it for $80 when I bought for $140 at David's Bridal. Especially now that prom is coming I might be able to sale it quick.